I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
