did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
