She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
