I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
