Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Found your dick twin last night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
