I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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