i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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