Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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