his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
