your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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