i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
