But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
