I feel like abortions should bother me more
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
