And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
