I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
