i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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