my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
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i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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