a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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