Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was born a porn star she said
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
