can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
