she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
