Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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