So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
