How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
