Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
