'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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