where does the pee come out of this thing
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
