I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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