My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
false alarm, still single
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
