he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
