I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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