is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
