remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
