8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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