you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
