I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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