I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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