What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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