I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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