That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
