I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
