And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
