I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
