I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
