He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
