I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
