I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
