I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
