you traded sex for a burrito?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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