I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
