I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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