just tell him i said nine months
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
