WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
