dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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