he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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