Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
