We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
