naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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