i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize